Overwhelmed by homeschooling? My fiancee Shawna (a parent, educator and tutor for years) created this VIDEO for you showing three SOLID STRATEGIES teachers use in their own classrooms to help you create a successful learning environment at home. I hope this helps!

Video transcript:

Hey parents, crazy times right now with a lot of us blind-sided with new problems to solve like how do I pay my bills or what do I do about childcare, and how in the heck am I going to homeschool for the rest of the year? It is a whole new reality of living for a while, for the whole world, which can have a big impact on your home life.

I know you are worried about your children’s education, understandably so. I mean helping with homework is scary enough and now you are in the driver's seat for managing their whole school day?! I know teachers are working diligently on their end and I’ve heard some heart-warming stories of things they are doing to stay connected to your kids.

With this extra time at home, this is a perfect opportunity to teach your kids other essential skills that are just as important for their learning and their growth development along with math, reading, and science, and will prepare them to be better learners for these subjects in the future, and help your homeschooling experience end a success. This will pass, and they will be back in school. What you do with this time right now can make a big difference in how they handle school and other aspects of their personal and social life in the future.

I am a teacher, I understand some kids are stressed out at school and you see that at home in some way, even if you don’t know why… parent’s intuition. And I am sure you feel overwhelmed and stressed out yourself with your own deadlines, schedule, and social or relationship conflicts.

For the kids, it can be about homework, or the testing, or social conflicts with their peers, and many other possibilities that their school experience brings. Sometimes it is stress about ‘fitting in’ to whatever it is they think is so important to fit into or feeling left out of a social click. Sometimes it’s about something going on at home, maybe a divorce or they miss a pet, or a stressful environment, or some other big change going on at home or at school. As this stress builds up (and kid’s stress is just as real as our financial, relationship, or job stress is to us) it’s highly likely you see behavior changes because they don’t understand or know how to manage this flux of emotions, just like many of us adults, so of course, they are going to drive you crazy at times!… just like many adults… :-)

All of the academic and test-related stress, placements, assessing, and comparing that happens is temporary when you look at the big picture of their whole life. This is a great time to stop and get present with each other. That way you can connect at a level where you can prepare them for these stressful times that inevitably arise in group school settings. They will help you too because you will remember back when they were little and realize how fast they grow up.

When kids learn skills that will help them become good problem solvers and help them feel in control of their environment, it will build their self-confidence as they learn and grow. Education is important, very important, and so are assessments, but all that testing stresses the kids and parents the freak out, because parents think it defines them as a good or bad parent, and the kids think it determines how smart they are and how they rank with their peers. The fact is, every single child excels in their own unique way, period.

The more grounded and confident they are, the better they will be able to reach their full potential as a child and then on as an adult because they will be in a better mental and emotional space for learning and the testing! And we parents can quit worrying so much and stay connected to that present awareness with them because those times are precious for both of you.

Kids are by nature live-in-the-moment kind of creatures, and they like to do what makes them feel good. They become attached to their routine and environment because that is all they know being little people still growing and developing. So when it changes, they can feel very anxious or fearful inside and display it in different ways on the outside. Some lash out with their behavior and some stuff it inward, and the rest are anywhere in between. Coaching them along the way with a mindful present awareness of the reality of this situation or any other situation that arises through their life, can help both of you ground better into what is now a new reality for a while.

What a great time to teach kids about so much more right now as we live in a time that will define our world and be a big part of history that will have a lasting impression on them. I mean what kid doesn’t dream of not having to go to school. Well some, but for the majority, it might feel like an early summer break.

Our school routines have changed pretty much overnight. Kid’s like to have control over their environment so they feel safe, just like we do. An abrupt change in their life like this can end up in power struggles that will add more chaos, stress, and overwhelm when there isn’t an orderly structure.

From the minute a student walks into their classroom on the first day of school, teachers work on classroom management until it is solid. If they don’t, they are screwed (pardon the French) because they know they have you. And when a room full of 25 kids know they have you… mm hmm.. that school year is an uphill battle. Following are three management strategies that were very successful in my classroom and ones you can easily apply at home. First, set up a nice learning environment that is designated just for learning if you can. Or, at least have all of the materials organized on a shelf or table. That way they will feel like they are still going to school.

1. Create a system for everything, and I mean anything and everything that creates a struggle in your home school environment. Determine when and how the pencils are sharpened (because that sometimes turns into an obsession). Determine the rules for going to the bathroom during work time (because this can turn into a distraction strategy). Set a time and routine for waking up in the morning. Create a schedule for your class time hours. I had a routine for how to walk down the hall, and if there was one single person who didn’t follow the walking-down-the-hall system, we would ALL have to go back and start all over again. Not that you would have that issue but the point is to set the system, practice it, and stay very consistent with it.

The key is to do this without emotion or a battle-of-the-wills attached to it. Because once they have the grip, your system will crumble and they will prevail. This works best when the kids are involved with creating the systems. This will feel, for many kids, like they are in control of their environment, because they helped in the planning, and the good news for you, they will be more excited about it, lowering the chance of a power struggle, and your days will run more smoothly because they take charge of their own day! Keep fine-tuning it and tweaking it until you have a smooth-running system and problem solve any struggles or challenges together that arise.

2. Have a solid and consistent consequence and reward system. When they help in creating the system, it helps them take ownership of it, but it has to involve something they highly value, like video games, cell phone, or anything they would do all day if you let them. You can also use this as a privilege, something they earn for having a good day or week. Reward systems work wonders because it gives them something to be excited about; however, be careful not to use them as a bribe, which is very tempting sometimes. Definitely create these systems at a time when everyone is feeling good and active in the planning process, rather than a time when any one of the family team is angry or in a bad mood, which could result in a power struggle.

Remember, if the value isn’t high enough they won’t care, so that’s where the pre-planning is nice. Most importantly, when you stay solid and calm when you are triggered or stressed out, the outcome will be much more pleasant rather than you losing your shit … :-)

You only need to say the consequence one time, because once the act has been done and the consequence has been determined, they very well may beg and try talking you out of it. Kids are masters at negotiating, especially if they know you will cave in eventually or if they could care less about the consequence. Just let them scream it out, safely of course, and with a system already in place, they know what the deal is, and they know they are expected to follow it. So you just do your thing during their fight, with gentle reminders so they feel heard, but don’t cave. Eventually, they get tired of it themselves because there’s no fight back for them to push on. Each time you hold firm, they know you mean business, and the battles will become less and less.

3. Take time every day to sit down, get present with them, look in their eyes, and ask how they are doing. Not in a forced way, just sit calmly with them. Some kids respond with fine, or okay, or they may act goofy or wound up. Just do it again the next day. But over time they will sit with you and feel heard.

Some questions now could be, “How do you feel about school being out now.” What do you miss the most about not being in school?” What do you like the best about doing school at home?” “What scares you the most?” “What friends do you miss?” The more opportunity they have to express what is on their minds or how they are feeling, within an environment where they know they won’t get in trouble, be judged, or made fun of, the stronger their character will build into the amazing little human they are, and the more confident they will grow into adulthood and be able to problem-solve through their life with stronger self-esteem.

When you remain calm and explain what is happening matter-of-factly through challenging times like this, it will help their anxiety. Kids sense our anxiety and fears, raising their own. They will also test your boundaries, so remain strong and firm in your routines, systems, and consequences, and connect with them each day with 100 % focused presence so they can express their true nature.

We all internalize challenges in our own unique way, and now is a good time to gain control and determine how your next few months will look like, for the whole family.

Please share ideas with others below about what is working in your home, so we can help each other. Below in the comments are links to learning sites that you can add to your day. Share any extras you have been using too!

You’ve got this parents.

Feel free to reach out to Shawna with any questions HERE.

(You may need to be logged into your FB for this link to work)

Photo and Video credit: Shawna Mignot

About Chris Davis

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