#HELP: The voices... sounds... and... songs in my head... I hear them. Why?


@tobyknapp photo // sue me :-)

I've lost track of the number of days we've been working from home. To me, counting them anymore has become a reminder that we don't remember when this started and we don't know when this COVID-inspired "work from home" thing will end... and, for me, that can be depressing...

So, I've started - for the sake of my mental health - trying to do things and remember things which make me wonder, which make me think... and which bring me some joy.

In doing so, I've discovered a few things... can I share the first of those discoveries with you?

If so... keep on reading. If not, well, you can click the "X" and I won't be offended, I promise. Because I'm sensitive, but... I'm not sensitive.

:-)

Over the last week, I've been waking up to songs playing my head and on Monday of this last week, I started to write them down. Now, I've also noticed these same songs play all day... and maybe that's a different post for a different time, but, for now, let me focus on the songs I hear in the morning...

Wake up.

Monday, I got up as the alarm on my Google/Nest Home Hub started to play its' ringtone.

"STOP" I said... which brought the alarm to an abrupt end. I did this acrobatic knee-to-chest thrust I usually do to create post-slumber momentum as I get out of bed and then as the wake-up physics took over, I rolled back and then, I shot my legs forward and did this pivot to the right... and let physics take over as I shook off the lack of slumber I usually get take over while weight and gravity did the rest as I did this sorta straight leg plant to get me out of bed.

In the motion of that movement... I heard Marvin Gaye singing "get up get up... wake up... wake up..."

The intro of Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing.

I went through my morning routine as this song played in my head.... and no, there was not any sort of intimate act of any kind going on... it just happened.

What do you think that means?

Tuesday.

Before I went to bed on Monday night, I remember a Twitter exchange with Dan Simons, the muse behind the Farmers' Restaurant Group and a guy who thinks very deeply about things. I believe that over the previous weekend and such, I retweeted something from his restaurants about how he would give a free, home-made pint of ice cream to people who would come and get food orders in person via curbside delivery... so that restaurants didn't have to pay the delivery service charges from delivery services. In full disclosure, I've partnered with Farmers' Restaurant Group for different iHeartRadio projects in some of our markets, but this isn't one of those times. This was my head. And it happened. So the reference is coincidental. Hi, FTC.

So as I did my morning wake up acrobatics, I heard the distinctive drum beats at the beginning of the song MILKSHAKE from Kelis... who was huge in the early 2000's when I was hosting afternoon drive on 93.3 FLZ in Tampa Bay. Weird. Did it bring all the boys to the yard?

Thoughts?

Wednesday.

I blame the weather. Tropical Storms, thunderstorms, rain, severe overnight weather, thunder, lightning and the threat of power outages were in the news from the overnight on Tuesday through Wednesday. There were many things which probably caused this... but as I did the out-of-bed trapeze moves which I do every morning... I heard Van Halen featuring Sammy Hagar-era music in my head... specifically, a song from the 1996 movie TWISTER... it was a song called HUMANS BEING. Also, during the morning, I heard Madonna's Rain, Prince's Purple Rain and Imagine Dragon's Thunder... so... I detect a theme.

I think I know... but what do you have to say?

Thursday.

I don't recall watching any MARVEL movies... specifically THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY or THOR: RAGNAROK, but as I was in the mid-swing-move of my wake-up calisthenics, I heard these lyrics over a very recognizable musical sample telling me to "hurry now and don't be late... 'cause we ain't got time to chat... you and me we're goin' out to catch the latest sound guaranteed to blow your mind... So high you won't come down... Hey ya'll prepare yourself for the rubberband... MAAAAAAANNNNN..."

What do you think that means?

Friday.

I love Broadway. My daughter made me pay attention to this sometime over the half-decade of my life and when she pulled me in, I went all in... because, well an object in motion must stay in motion... and so she forced me into motion and I didn't stop moving. And, while this wasn't "on Broadway" per se, it's DNA is rooted in Broadway. Benj Pasek and Justin Paul - of Dear Evan Hansen fame - penned this song. Alex Lacamoire - of Hamilton, In The Heights and Dear Evan Hansen fame - played a part in the overall musical mission. And as I did the Friday morning crunch-thrust-kick to get out of bed... I heard:

"I drank champagne with kings and queens, the politicians praised my name. But those are someone else's dreams. The pitfalls of the man I became. For years and years I chased their cheers. The crazy speed of always needing more. But when I stop and I see you here, I remember what all this was for.... FROM NOW ONNNNNNN...."

This song got me up although after we cut the 500, while I was making the behind-the-scenes-magic-before-air-magic happen, the song transitioned into THE GREATEST SHOW by PANIC! AT THE DISCO.... so I probably need to include that Friday footnote.

Why, though? Why?

Now, I'm bringing you behind-the-scenes.

The first show I am a part of every day... is Toby+Chilli Mornings. Google it. While we, the three of us, in the wee hours of the East Coast morning work separately from home during these unprecedented and pandemic times, we work as close to real time as we can every morning to bring a local show to our home market. We record our scenes. Then, there is some "general magic" which happens. While I'm working on this part of the process, that is when these 'songs in my mind' play.

I'm not sure what they mean... but they usually involve me editing and creating... and waving a magic wand at times... while singing parts of these songs... as if I'm some sort of Mickey Mouse character in the film Fantasia. They can be pop and current songs, or vintage hits from the biggest artists of our lives. They are one-hit wonders and now-lost 90's hairband artists and spiritual and instrumental songs. I don't know why I hear them... I just do.

And they just play.

Every morning. At moments through the day. Before I pass out. And in my dreams.

Why do you think that is? Do you have anything like this... which happens to you?

Thanks for reading, ya'll. I love you all so much. Thanks for allowing me to be in your life.

#LoveFromToby

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